


A Little Unsteady

by Marvel_Fan01



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Abuse, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Happy moments at times, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loneliness, M/M, Modern Era, Other, Panic Attacks, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, will probably add to this as chapters go on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-02-14 21:17:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13016310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvel_Fan01/pseuds/Marvel_Fan01
Summary: Richie 'Trashmouth' Tozier, now 17 years old and has grown apart from everyone in the Losers Club- well everyone besides Bev. Things have happened to the boy, which have pushed him closer and closer to the edge but will someone be able to save him from himself in time?





	1. Richie's Breaking

**Author's Note:**

> LONG TIME NO STORY! so yeah- it's been a while huh? A lot has happened while I've been away, work and other stuff came up but hey! It's life- shit happens I guess. Anywhooooo, I have fallen in love with the 2017 remake of Stephen King's IT. I LOVED RICHIE AND EDDIE SO MUCH OMG!!! They're too cute! and I may or may not ship them but anyway! I hope you guys like this :)
> 
> So I have been editing away at this, really want to continue this story as it really does mean a lot to me. Enjoy ^^

The tall lanky male brought a cigarette between his chapped lips before he sparked it up. After the stick was lit, the boy took a draw from it and let the soothing burning feeling engulf him. Letting the toxic smoke stick to his lungs that were rotting more and more with each cigarette he smoked but the boy frankly didn’t care anymore, he didn't have the energy to care any longer about what happened to him. 

Richie took the fag away from his lips as he blew the grayish smoke out and watched it as it faded into nothing as the wind swept it away. 

Something in the raven haired male felt weird as he watched the wisp evaporate in the wind. He knew it sounded dumb but in a way he related with the smoke, he felt like nothing - a nobody… A lost cause who fucked everything he touched up. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair which had grown quite long over the years but it still remained slightly curly. You see, Richie had isolated himself from the other losers, everyone besides Bev. 

That girl had saved him in more ways than one. If Richie was having a rough night either with his thoughts or with his parents yelling and throwing things at each other, he would phone Beverly and they would meetup and smoke or sometimes even get a drink together. 

“Going heavy on the cigarettes today aren’t we, Tozier?.” 

The boy jumped and began to cough and splutter at the girl’s sudden appearance, “Wh- what the fu- fuck.” he managed to say through his coughing fit. He patted his chest lightly as the ginger girl began to snicker, “Jesus Chr- Christ, Bev.” Richie chuckled and just smiled up at the other, “Don’t sneak up on a guy smoking.” 

“I’m sorry, didn’t think that would scare 'the' Richard Tozier.” the lanky male just rolled his eyes but not once did his smile drop. Bev pulled out her own pack of cigarettes and lit one as she sat across from the raven haired male, “So, you didn’t answer my question; going heavy today aren’t we? You smoked at least five at school and by the looks of it this one isn’t your first while you've been here either.” 

Richie dropped his gaze looking at three cigarette butts that were littered around his feet and at that his little quirky smile also fell away as he shrugged, “I like smoking.” 

“If you keep smoking like this you’re gonna die.” 

“I don’t do this to look cool- I mean look at me! I’m already cool and badass as it is, Bev.” he grinned as the girl rolled her eyes. 

“You’re worrying me, Richie… How are things at home?.” 

“Look, I don’t want to talk about that, okay? I’m fine- everything’s just fucking dandy as always.” he didn’t mean for his tone to be so harsh and mentally cussed at himself as he saw the girl flinch slightly. He sighed as he shifted in his spot, “Sorry, just moody today I guess." a small smirk formed on Richie's pale face, "Still getting used to this man period thing.” 

Bev chuckled and shook her head as she looked to her friend, “A man period huh? Must suck, I wouldn’t know what that’s like.” 

“Yep, it fucking sucks! I piss blood and have these weird mood swings. Weird cravings for pickles as well.” 

“Sounds more like pregnancy to me, Rich.” 

“Oh fuck that.” the two soon broke into a fit of laughter. After they both calmed down they smiled at one another, “Not to mention that I need to shove tampons up my-.” 

“Beep beep, Richie.” the girl said, shutting her eyes and making a weird face as they once again broke into a fit of laughter as memories of childhood filled their minds.

Richie leaned back and let those memories come over him like a wave- god he missed his friends. Holding up his cigarette with his pinky held in the air, “Bottoms up, Princess.” he smirked as Bev clinked her smoke against Richie’s and both took their last draws before stamping them both out. 

Beverly checked the time on her phone and let out a sigh as she got to her feet, “Shit. Look, I gotta go but I'll see you later, Richie.” 

The raven haired boy tilted his head like some confused mutt and raised a brow at his friend, “Where you going?.” 

“Out." 

"Out?." Richie said with a smirk on his face. 

Bev sighed but smiled, "With Bill.” 

“Oh right, still going with Billy Boy?.” 

“Yeah, I am.” 

Richie smiled as he noticed the reddish glow on the girl’s face before something in him blurted it out, “Do they ever ask about me?.” 

“What?.” the girl's eyes widened at the question. 

“S- sorry, I just.” he shrugged as he rubbed the back of his neck, “I was wondering if they ever ask about me, ya know?.” Bev fell quiet and that was all Richie needed to take that as a no, “Okay, it’s fine… It’s fine.” 

“I’m sorry, Richie.” 

“Nah, don’t be! I’ve got you, that’s all I need.” he hid everything behind that smile of his when clearly he was breaking and so close to just ending it all. 

As Bev turned her back and went to leave she looked behind her and down at Richie’s sitting form, “Wanna hang tonight?.” 

“Nah, don’t want to waste your night with buh- buh- Billy Boy.” he grinned as Bev shook her head and kneeled down in front of Richie's sitting form before she pulled him into a rather tight hug. 

“You wouldn't be wasting anything, Richie. Remember if you need to talk to anyone I'm here- I mean it Rich, if anything happens in that shithole tonight text or phone me, okay?.” 

He just hugged the girl just as tight as she hugged him, "I know you are- fuck, you've helped me through a lot as it is Bev. I will." 

"You Promise?." the ginger girl said as she pulled away from the hug and looked Richie dead in the eye. 

Richie couldn't help but smile at her but wished the hug lasted just a little longer, "I promise. Now you best be going, don't leave lover boy hanging." 

"Shut up." Beverly laughed and gently punched the other in the arm before getting to her feet once more. "Bye Rich." she said waving at him. 

“See ya.” he waved back before having the reality that maybe his friends had really forgotten about him started to set in. 

He brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his long arms around them as he looked down, “I’m better off dead.” he said before pushing himself up the wall behind him, “No one needs me, not my friends, not my family.... No one.” his body began to shake and his vision began to blur even behind those coke-bottle glasses, “Would- would anyone even care if I died?.” he choked back a sob as he turned to the concrete and bashed his fist into it, his already damaged knuckles burst under the impact which drew Richie away from those dark thoughts. He gritted his teeth and straightened his fingers out, watching as the blood slipped through his pale digits, “Fuck.” he groaned and held his hand close to his chest before looking around. Still alone- so fucking alone. He sighed, pulling his phone out and shuffling through some of the music he had saved on it. When he found the song he as looking for he placed the earphones into his ears and grabbed the small square box from the ground along with his lighter. Stuffing yet another one of the cancer sticks into his mouth and lighting it before his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie, accompanied by the cigarettes and lighter. 

The raven haired boy placed his phoned into his other pocket and began his lonely journey back to the shit hole he called home.


	2. Tomorrow's A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After returning home, Richie is welcomed by his parents fighting and accusing him of stealing. Things get worse for the teen, he makes a huge mistake and searches for help before realizing he has no one. But one question; who is the 'him' Richie refers to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, second chapter! I really did try my best here but I think it could have been a lot better, I may change a few things and update a few things but for now I guess this is okay ^^' I'm so glad you guys are liking this so far! I hope this chapter isn't too confusing.

As Richie finally reached the place he called home the sun had already began to set. 

He walked up to the front door and sighed as he pulled his earphones out, “Here we go.” he muttered under his breath as he took his last draw of the cigarette before he stamped it out on the front step and walked inside. 

As he walked in he could hear his mother and father once again yell at each other but he had grown used to it. 

Richie rolled his eyes and was about to make his way up to his room until he heard; “Richard! Get in here! NOW!.” it was his father, Wentworth Tozier and practically the scum of Derry, and he didn’t sound happy. Not one bit. 

His eyes widened slightly and his heart rate began to speed up, ‘Stop it! Calm down.’ Richie told himself as he made his way into the kitchen. He was surprised to find his mother and father somewhat sober? Of if they were drunk it’s not bad yet, “Ye-.” he cleared his throat, “Yeah?.” 

“Explain why there’s five dollars missing from my wallet, boy.” 

“Wha-.” he was cut off by a harsh slap across his face, hard enough to send his glasses flying off his face. His wild hair fell over his eyes which had began to fill with tears once again but there was no way in hell that he was going to cry in front of his father. 

“Don’t what me, boy. Look at me when I am talking to you!.” the older male said grabbing his son by the jaw and bringing Richie’s face closer to his, “Where’s my money.” 

“I- I don’t know! I didn’t take it!.” 

“Then how the fuck! Did you afford the pack of smokes of yours?.” 

“With my own money!.” 

“BULLSHIT!.” his father yelled once more as he shoved Richie hard into the wall behind him causing him to hit the back of his head and let out a grunt. Not like things weren't blurry enough without his specs, now his head was spinning. 

“Why don’t you ask her! Maybe she knows what fucking happened to your precious money!.” he yelled back, pointing at his mother. 

“How dare you speak to me like that!.” the woman yelled at her son, “I wouldn’t do such a thing like that!.” 

“Ha! Bullshit! You would! And you have befo-.” he was once again cut off by his dad grabbing him by the shirt. 

“Money, now Richard.” he growled in the boy’s face.

“WHY SHOULD I! THIS MONEY, IS MY FUCKING MONEY- MONEY THAT I EARNED WORKING AT THE ARCADE!.” his father’s gaze changed to something that made Richie’s blood run cold, “HERE! FUCKING TAKE IT!.” he yelled, shoving the all money he had in his pocket at his dad- it was a lot more than five dollars that's for sure. Richie then grabbed his glasses off the floor before took off out of the kitchen and ran upstairs. 

Maggie stood at the kitchen doorway, watching her terrified son run up to his room but then ‘stolen’ five dollar bill caught her gaze, “Oh, Wentworth dear, is that your money?.”

“It is, yeah.” he said snatching it off the floor and returned it back into his pocket, “With the money the boy gave me, I now have enough money to get myself a bottle of Whiskey.” he said before heading out of the house with his wife. 

Richie had placed his glasses back on his face and was standing at the top of the stairs when the two actually found the missing money. His blood began to boil after hearing his dad saying he had enough to now buy drink. After the door shut behind the two assholes, tears finally began to roll down the teen’s face, “I hate this fucking place!.” he yelled and went to punch the wall but as soon as he formed a fist, a sharp pain shot through his hand, “Ah!.” he would probably need to get that checked out. 

The teen soon made his way into his room and slid down the door as soon as he had shut it. the tears wouldn’t stop and this time he wasn't going to call Bev- even though he had promised to phone or text her if things went to shit. He just didn’t want to ruin her night with Bill. He looked around his messy, poorly lit room and soon found a small wooden box under his bed, he moved closer to it and took it out from underneath before opening it; inside was a small sharpener blade which was already stained, an old rag, a few bandages and bandaids. 

Taking a deep breath, Richie rolled up his sleeve and revealed the scars, not only scars but old and fresh cuts. “N- no one cares, then- then why sho- should I!.” the young male cried as he brought the blade to his skin and began to pull it across. He watched as the blood began to run down his arm but he kept going and going until he went a little deeper than the others. 

Richie’s eyes widened and the air caught in his throat, “Shit- shit, shit, shit, SHIT!.” he yelled and pressed the rag to the wound but it didn’t stop the bleeding, “No, no, no.” he got to his feet and stumbled out of the room and down his stairs. He walked outside and look around the quiet street with the rag held tightly against his arm. The male soon began to walk down the road, ‘Wait what the fuck am I doing? I can’t go to- to his! I haven’t spoke to him for years, I can’t just show up, especially like this!.’ he stopped dead in his tracks. His head was spinning and his chest heaving. 

After standing there in the dark for a wfew minutes the raven haired teen made his way back into the house and back up to his room, shutting his door behind him and once again sat on the floor, “What am I gonna do- I can’t call Bev, I can’t.” he began to sob to himself as he looked down at his arm and pulled the rag away to reveal the horrible deep wound, “Fuck.” he sighed but was glad to see that the blood had finally stopped. 

Richie grabbed some of the bandages from the little wooden box and began to wrap the wound and pulled down his sleeve once more, “I- I need to clean this up.” he said to himself as he looked down at the blood that littered his floor. 

After cleaning the blood from his floor, Richie was standing over his window sill, the window was wide open and a smoke was hanging out his mouth. Once again his mind was filled with memories of his ‘friends’ and all those fun times they had together, “God I fucking miss those Losers.” he smiled to himself and continued with his cigarette. But he couldn't get his mind off a certain someone. And it wasn't Beverly.

“Fucking school tomorrow.” he sighed, “Well, tomorrow’s a new day I guess.” he smiled once more and put the fag out before he shut the window and curtains, not even bothering to get changed as he climbed into bed. All Richie wanted was to forget that this day ever happened.

His eyes slowly began to close and soon Richie was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think of this chapter in the comments! Thank you for the comments on the last one >w<


	3. An Unexpected Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well it's the next morning after Richie's little- eh- "incident", deciding that it would be a great idea to skip school, only then did Richie come to regret it as he went to his favorite childhood spot. There he was met by a certain someone, a person he held close and cared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL IT'S SURE BEEN A WHILE, I am so sorry for taking so long on this chapter. Some things came up and last month was a pretty hard month for me and my family, but we are all getting there ^^ this chapter is a little here and there, I really do apologize for that but I may fix some things in time but for now this is all I have, hope you enjoy! also the title was meant to be funny X'DD

Richie was still sound asleep as the sun began to rise, he rolled onto his side and pressed his face into his pillow some more before beams of light began to lit up the room and were soon shining in the boy’s face. Screwing his brows and nose up, the teen peeked open one of his eyes, “Mmmm, why now.” he groaned as he slowly sat himself up and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand. 

He squinted and looked around the shithole of a room, he sighed and patted around his bed before he felt his glasses, he finally found them underneath the blankets, “Aha! Gotcha!.” he grinned as he slipped the specs onto his face. 

Richie soon threw his legs over the side of the bed and got to his feet, giving out a little stretch as he straightened himself up, “I really need a shower.” he said rather embarrassed about himself and rubbed the back of his head. He shrugged before walking over to his wardrobe and pulled out a Guns ‘N’ Roses band shirt, along with a red checkered shirt and a pair of black jeans. 

The raven haired teen soon made his way to the only bathroom that the house owned. 

As he entered the room and locked the door behind him, he threw the clothes on top of the toilet turned the taps on the shower. Letting the water fall onto his hand and smiled when the water was for his liking. Pulling his clothes from the night before off and tossed them onto the floor before removing his glasses, he rested them on top of the toilet. Richie then hopped into the shower, letting his head fall back and running his hands through his hair. 

He was enjoying the warm feeling until the bandaged he had tied around his wrist began to get wet, causing the cuts underneath to sting.

He winced and looked to his arm, shame and disgust washed over him as he slowly began to undo the bandage. Richie gritted his teeth as he got to the last part, which was a little stuck due to the dried blood. He just looked at what he had done to himself, softly tracing the smaller cuts but completely avoided the deeper one cause if he was honest it hurt like a motherfucker! He let his arm fall to his side and sighed as he let the water run down his back and softly drip down his face. He could stay like this all day if he could but sadly he had shitty ass parents that he had to share the toilet with and school to get to. 

Finally he switched the shower off but stayed under it until the water had completely stopped, as it did he climbed out and grabbed two towels, one to wrap around his waist and the other to dry his soaked hair. 

His eyes wandered over to the mirror where he soon began to inspect his thin frame, he took noticed of the bruises that had appeared on his back from where he was pushed up against the kitchen wall and the purplish mark on his cheek from the slap he received from the man who was meant to love him. The teen quickly shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts that plagued him more than ever, “Today’s not the day, Richie.” he told himself as he looked back at the mirror, “Today will be better.” he smiled at himself and nodded. 

Richie began to dry his hair with the towel and soon threw the shirt over his head and pulled it down to cover his thin frame, pulling on his trousers and shoes before he exited the small bathroom and walked back into his room where he grabbed his; backpack, phone, earphones, cigarettes, lighter and of course his school things. 

Soon the raven haired teen finally made his way downstairs, where he was greeted by the sight of his parents both passed out on the couch.

He could feel his blood begin to boil but just shook his head before taking a deep breathe to calm himself down and walked out the house, a smile formed on his face as he closed the old door behind him. 

Richie was walking down the road, loving the warmth of the sun’s ray shining down on him, the thought of being stuck in school on a day like this made him groan, “Know what- fuck it. We won’t go! Instead we’ll go to the Quarry!.” he grinned and took off to his old childhood meet up spot. 

Not really expecting to find anyone there since he did stop talking to his friends.

But when the raven haired teen actually reached the Quarry his heart nearly jumped out of his chest as he saw a brown haired boy sitting on the edge of the cliff, ‘Eds?.’ he thought to himself as he moved closer to get a better look at the boy. 

Not really paying attention to where he was stepping, Richie managed to slip on some lose bits of gravel and land on the ground butt first causing the boy in front of him to turn around. 

The two of them lock gazes as Richie got to his feet and dusted himself off. 

“Ri- Richie?.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And again I really am sorry about the time it's took me to post this but like I said I'm getting back on track! I'm so happy so many of you like this fic! ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully I will continue The Night Tony Stark Fell Apart soon, it may take a while though and I am so sorry about that but I hope you like this! And please leave suggestions on how I should continue this little thing ^^ Thank you!


End file.
